After the events of rescuing Lot much of my world would again change.  I learned that our little outpost in Haran was overrun by Hammurabi’s forces.  The men we had there were scattered as they tried to protect the innocent and those they loved.

My Life With Abram Changes Again

Many who were with me when we rescued Lot would drift away in time.  I was now left with ten men, Jared and Nathan.  Abram was a peaceful man, and God surrounded him with protection.  In my opinion there really was not a use for what I had to offer.

I felt out of place and isolated. The reason why I stayed with Abram was that I was once again in a peaceful life.

As the years passed I became something more like a cowboy than the past wandering of a nomad.  I came to know Abram in a deeper friendship and heard often of what God promised him.  One thing I could not get out of my mind was Lot. I believe I saw a bit of myself in him.

I never will forget how he left after we rescued him.  That day stood out in my mind like a dagger striking me in my heart.  I saw in that moment my old life from before.  It was like the day I walked away from my family.  The last time I saw them was the night I was taken away from that world and brought to this one.

There was no way to reconcile with my family from here.  There was no way to apologize.  It was set in stone and nothing could take it back.  The choice Lot made could still be reversed if only he would come home.

Sarai Gives Hagar To Abram

Other issues came into focus as well.  A recent drama was playing out within Abram’s life. It held no good answer to the problem that was made.

In frustration of not being able to have a child Sarai gave Abram her servant.  As the plan was initially intended to be, Hagar conceived a son.  Sarai then became angry and frustrated at Hagar which caused her to lash out.  In turn Hagar ran away.  It was on that night Abram and I found ourselves both contemplating life.

I had grown fond of walking in the cool of the evening.  Noah had enjoyed walking in the warmth of the morning sun.  Those days were much colder and the sun was comforting.  In this time the sun was more brutal and the comfort was found in cooler evenings.

Abram Asks About My Former Life

On this night I was passing by a few head of cattle making my way to the top of a hill.  It offered a great view of the surrounding land and an unobstructed view of the night sky.  When I reached the top of the hill I found Abram standing there.

“How are you holding up Abram?” I asked.
“God’s provision of grace is always more than I deserve.” He said.
“What happened?”

Abram turned to look at me.  I could see the sadness in his eyes.  His entire countenance appeared as if a man had been beaten.

“Sarai was rough in handling Hagar.  It’s my fault.  I told her to handle her as she wished.  If there must be a choice then I will side with Sarai for she is my wife.  We made a mistake Clay.  We took matters into our own hands trying to fix something that only God can do.  Now I am paying the price for it.” Abram detailed.

“You are not alone.  Still, I think you have done better than me.  At least you have those you love with you.  I’m sorry, what I mean is they are still in this time where you can help.” I said.

Silence filled the air between us for a moment.  Looking into the night sky I could see the stars.  It always amazed me at how bright they were with no modern lights to pollute the atmosphere.  In my momentary distraction a question from Abram threw me backwards.

“Why did you leave your family?  I’m sorry but I am curious.  If you do not wish to answer I understand.” He said.

It was an honest question from an honest man.  I spent the last few hundred years trying to sort out the very answer he was looking for. 

“At first I left because I blamed her.  My wife’s name was Liza.  She had a way of making life miserable, or so I thought.  In reality, I know now it was a cry for help.  She wanted me.  I was too stupid to understand.”

“I graduated school and worked in archeology.  We studied older cultures in historical times.  I was always gone from home to work, focused on my career, and never thought I was causing harm.  I thought she was holding me back.  I missed the most important part of life Abram.  I walked away because I wouldn’t listen to her.” I recounted.

Abram looked back into the sky.  He would occasionally shake his head as if he was processing what I said.  That, or I was not privy to another conversation he was having.  After a few moments of silence his reply would surprise me.

“Clay I think you walked away because you refused to listen to God.  You still are trying to resist Him now.  Both of our mistakes would never have happened if we were listening to Him.  I think that one day you will find Liza again.” He said.

His comment caught me off guard. “That’s not possible Abram.  The distance in time is far to great.  Even if I were to make it to her there is no way I will be the same man I was.” I replied.

Abram turned to look at me. “I believe that is the whole point of this Clay.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.

“It is simple.  When God calls someone He moves them so He can shape them.  Sometimes this is done with tests, or pain, and maybe even isolation.  He moved you to do something inside you.”  Abram wasn’t making sense to me. 

Why would God “call” a man that rejected Him?

“Abram, I am sorry but I don’t think you realize God called you away from home to Canaan.  I disappeared from an entire world to another place in time and for what?  Punishment maybe.  Him calling me?  I don’t think so.  My story is the story of a man who has gone mad.” I said.

The look in Abram’s eyes for the first time lightened.  I could see a smile form.  It had been a while since I saw the old Abram I knew when I first met him with Shem.  It was that excited child like look that I loved.

“The question is will you finally accept what He is shaping within you?  If He wants you, then you cannot run forever.  No matter how drastic the measure may be, He will have you.  Not all men are equal in this way.  Not everyone is searched by God, more often men spend a lifetime searching for Him.” Abram said.

“What do you mean searching for Him?” I asked.

“Stop for a moment and think Clay.  How many seek to experience God emotionally?  They pray to Him, some think they can hear Him.  They worship in ways that sometimes seem odd, but it is for the experience.  God is not an emotional experience.  To be with Him is a relationship.” he said.

I thought for a moment and my memory went back to seeing people in church as a child.  I remember the excitement as some would speak in tongues, praise, and sing almost like shouting. I remember the fervent pleas from the pastor.  Was Abram saying it was all fake?

“Abram, do you mean that its wrong to feel God or experience Him in an exciting way?” I asked.

“It is rather a matter of understanding the difference between religion and a relationship.  It is like a man playing home with his wife or truly being there for her.  The difference can seem subtle, but it is important.  One is authentic, the other is not.” His reply was sobering.

We both stood in more silence for a short while.  The air was feeling cooler and it was a relief from the day.  After a few moments of silence we both said our goodnights.  Walking back to my small tent I had Abram’s words on my mind.

Hagar Returns To Abram’s Home

I laid in my bedroll and drifted off to sleep.  My thoughts were of Liza and my children.  It had been so long it seemed as if it was another world and another life.  The truth was I had now spent far more time in this world than the one I came from.  A part of me hated that I felt more naturalized to this world than to my real home.

I was woken in the morning to shouting.  This was unusual and it caused me to stumble as I tried to roll out of the bedroll.  I grabbed my sword and went rushing towards the voices.  When I arrived I saw Hagar.

In the early morning she had returned.  The people were happy and screams of joy were filling the air.  No one wanted her gone.  Still, this was an issue which would need resolution.  Hagar would give birth to a boy named Ishmael.  She and the child would remain with us for some time.   

Abram’s Name Changed To Abraham

Some years would pass and Abram would have another encounter with God.  This one was different than others.  He was given two things.  First a new name for himself and Sarai.  He was now to be called Abraham, and she is Sarah.

The second thing he was given was the timeline to a son that would be born by Sarah.  The other promises concerning the land he would possess was still a future thing to come.  Nevertheless, he never doubted God.

Why Sodom Was To Be Destroyed

It was here that an event took place that would forever haunt me.  I had lived through some odd experiences.  In fact I was still living and breathing through one presently by being in this time.  Some events that unfold just have a way of marking a man forever.

It would begin on a day when three travelers showed up.  These were no ordinary travelers.  I knew this the moment I saw them.

Noah had once talked about angels and how they could do many things, including taking human form.  I have to admit at the time I heard him say this I thought he had lost his mind.  It was on this day I came to the realization that some of the stories from before were not just stories.

The cities which surrounded the Jordan plain such as Sodom had grown not only in size but also by intensity.  Their influence on the region began to hold sway in bad ways.  There was a lot more going on than merely physical indulgences.

Word had spread that they were sacrificing children.  Add to this they also went beyond mere pagan worship and began to seek out what was called “strange flesh”. 

I remembered the stories as a child.  The preacher would rant against their more distasteful intimate desires.  While this was indeed taking place, they mistook the etymology of “strange flesh” for “unnatural affections”. These are two different things.

Within etymology you can at times be locked into the idea of a word or translation based upon two things.  The first is the perception of the world within the time of one’s understanding.  Typically, you attempt to remedy this by comparing the words use with other similar or different uses in a text.

The second issue is a lack of understanding within that periods cultural influence.  If one does not know the culture of when the word was written it becomes a handicap.  The unique perspective I had was living in this time.  What I discovered is these cities like Sodom had become like the times before the flood.

These people were trying to seek out the fallen ones for more than worship.  They were like those Shem, Ham, Japeth and I found at Potbelly Hill.  They were like some of those I found in my wandering around the world.  These people were attempting the unnatural and seeking out desires that should never be.

It was this which brought the giants of the before.  Then again, it also brought some of the giants I experienced in my travels.  It was a dark cloud which hovered over these cities.  They had become as Noah put it, unable to recognize God.

For the people in the Jordan plain, something was coming. It was a story I remembered.