After feeling returned to my body I was physically shaken and weak.  I stood and looked to find Jacob, but he was gone.  Finding my horse, I mounted and began to ride quickly back to the crossing.

I could see Jacob was about to reach the other side.  I tried to scream but couldn’t.  Thankfully he looked back upon reaching the other side.  Seeing me he stopped.  After I made it across I could see the confused look on his face.

“Where were you Clay?”
“I was watching you from a distance.  I just wanted to make sure you would be okay.” I replied.
“So you saw me wrestle with the Lord?” He smiled. “I received His blessing and a new name, Israel.”

We began to ride side by side as fast as we could.  I didn’t bother telling him of my experience, at least not yet.  We had more pressing concerns.

Esau’s Greeting Jacob

The direction of travel the caravan was moving in ran beside the Jabbok. This tributary ran from West to East towards the Jordan. By the time we caught up with the group, Esau had encountered the lead elements of our caravan.

At first we couldn’t tell if Esau was angry, happy, sad, or murderous.  After reaching Rachel at the rear of the caravan we dismounted and gathered the people.  It was taking time for Esau to reach us. After he encountered the first group he slowed as people began walking alongside him back to us.

When he came to be close enough that I could make out his face and see his eyes he dismounted.  I could see the light in his eyes, his smiles, and my heart broke.  It was the old Esau I knew when he was a child.

When he saw Jacob he ran to him and embraced his brother.  There was genuine elation and thankfulness in his voice.  I almost collapsed.  It was over.

“Brother what were all of these servants offering me tribute in livestock along my way?” Esau asked smiling.
“They are a gift to you Esau, asking for forgiveness and grace.” Jacob replied.
“There is no need, keep them they are yours.” Esau stated.

“No brother.  Please take them.  God has blessed me. Seeing you again I can see the face of God in yours for the grace you have given me.  Please accept my gift as a blessing to you.”  Jacob insisted.

“Who are all these fine strapping young men?” Esau said laughing.
“My children, and I have a daughter.” Jacob introduced his family and his wives.

The reunion would be brief.  I don’t know what changed Esau’s mind.  What I do know is that the look I saw in his eyes, it was genuine love for his brother.  I watched as many cried, many were praising God, all were shocked.

I wasn’t going to interrupt their reunion.  I walked back to my horse and grabbed my bedroll.  I laid it in the shade of a rock and I rested.  My entire body ached beyond belief.  I was exhausted.  A short while later I could hear Esau calling my name.

I got up and walked over to them.  When he saw me he embraced me as well.  After a little jesting back and forth I picked up on what Esau was trying to offer Jacob.

“Please tell my brother to take some of my men to help protect you.” Esau insisted.
“Did Jacob say no?” I asked.
“Yes he said he doesn’t want to cause any inconvenience.” Esau replied.
“Well you have our Southern flank protected right Esau?” I inquired curiously.

“Absolutely.  If you guys ever need help please let me come.” He said.
“Well, I think we will be okay here North of you.  I know you have real battles and dangerous territory to pass through Esau.  We will be okay.” I backed up Jacobs wishes.

“Okay, okay.  Like I said, if you need anything let me know.  I will turn to head home.  It was worth the journey to see you again Jacob.” Esau embraced his brother one last time.
“You as well brother.” Jacob replied.

Revelations Of Jacob’s Struggle With God

I could see tears in both men’s eyes.  It would have been impossible to ask for a better reconciliation.  Esau had forgiven Jacob.  In turn Jacob had received his brother’s love instead of his sword.

I watched Esau ride into the distance.  We too continued to push forward with our journey. That night I found Jared and my men by their own fire.  I lay down to rest and was almost instantly asleep.  It would be Nathan of course that wouldn’t let me sleep.

“So what happened Clay?” Nathan asked.
“What do you mean?”
“The whole camp is buzzing about Jacob becoming Israel and how he wrestled with God.  What did you see?” He continued to press the inquiry.

“I didn’t see much.  Just him wrestling a figure in the night.” I replied.
“And you didn’t bother to think anything or try to help?” Jared asked.
“Something happened to you too, didn’t it?” Nathan kept insisting.

“What is the big deal about a name change anyway?” Xiang questioned.
“It is more than a name change.  Even though Jacob had been chosen by God as a child, he stole Esau’s blessing by deception instead of waiting on God.  Jacob’s struggle with God was one of refusing to let go until God blessed him.  This could only be done by a sincere change of Jacobs heart.” I began explaining.

“His old name Jacob means “deceiver”.  The name Israel in the old language begins with the consonants YSR and it means to “struggle”.  The name ends with el which means God.  So, he was the deceiver who struggled with God.”  I concluded.

“This is why he stayed behind.  There was no way that Jacob could successfully face Esau until God had blessed Jacob.  It would take God to turn Esau’s heart back towards loving his brother.” Jared further explained.

Xiang seemed content with that explanation.  Some in the camp were enjoying the nights festivities.  I myself wanted sleep.  Nathan wouldn’t allow it to come that easily.

Nathan Demands Explanations Of My Encounter

“You still haven’t told us what happened to you.  Obviously, something did.” Nathan kept pushing.
“I was going to help Jacob fight but I was stopped by another something.  He pushed me back, paralyzed me and I almost died.” I replied.

The looks on their faces were ones of shock.  “Who was it?” Jared asked.
“He called himself Death.” I said.

The look of shock turned to ones of almost horror.  After a few moments of silence Nathan would once again break the peace.

“I told you not to go playing around with that.  Every time you get around what God is doing you almost die.” Nathan pointed out.
“How did you survive anyway?” Jared asked.
“Another figure appeared at dawn.  He looked as bright as the Sun, then Death disappeared.” I replied.

“So, as Jacob wrestled with God for a blessing, you wrestled with Death trying to stay alive.” Xiang’s observation had been on my mind for some time.  I found that irony quite interesting myself.

“It would appear that no one can escape this God.” Yu stated.
“What do you mean?” Jared asked.
“It seems that one will struggle either with God, or with Death.  It is as if there is no in between.  Either one belongs to God, or one belongs to Death.” Yu concluded.

I didn’t bother going into the details about how I heard my daughter’s voice.  That was too personal.  Once the conversation turned to lighter topics I managed to drift off to sleep.

Arriving At Succoth

We would arrive at a place Jacob named Succoth.  There he would build a house as his first home.  This location would serve the family for a couple of years. This would not be a permanent home.  It served as a temporary dwelling much like the early years with Abraham wandering through Canaan.

This location would offer the ability to care for the people, tend to the herds, and gain additional resources.  There was enough time that passed here which allowed me to return and visit Isaac.  I shared with him all the news of events which transpired.

I discovered that Esau had also returned home to visit his father.  The reconciliation with Jacob brought new unity.  It had been quite some time since Isaac felt whole in his heart.  This rift between the brothers had lasted for too long.

There was a part which saddened me in this visit with Isaac.  I could see that his years were coming to a close.  It was hard seeing that young man who laid down on the alter now being of this age and struggling.  Time passes all too quickly for the ones we grow to care about.

The ignorance and stupidity of youth allows for petty issues to drive wedges into our relationships.  In the end what good are they?  What points do we manage to prove?  So much is lost.

Jacob Arrives At Shalem

After Jacob pulled up stakes at Succoth we relocated to Shalem.  This was a small city controlled by Shechem.  Jacob approached a man by the name of Hamor, who was Shechem’s father.  This resulted in Jacob purchasing land to make a new home.

I felt like I was slipping back into my previous life with Abraham.  I had crossed these paths before.  The thoughts in my mind were troubling.  How many more years would I spend traveling these lands?  I often thought of that night I encountered Death wondering why I did not die.

One evening I sat on a hill near my tent looking at the stars.  I remembered navigating by them with Shem, Ham, and Japeth.  I remembered my long conversations with Noah.  There was a statement Noah made which stuck out in my mind at this moment.

Noah said “The flood removed those who fell so far away from God that they could no longer recognize Him.  There is a difference between knowing sin and no longer being capable of knowing God.”

Was this my problem?  Have I come to where it is impossible for me to know God?  For the first time since this whole journey began I did something.  The last time I prayed was the night before this madness began.  It was the prayer where I blamed God for all that was wrong in my life.

On this night my prayers were different.  I began searching for Him.  I just didn’t know where to start looking.  How can someone’s heart be so locked away and unable to let go?  For the first time I truly wanted to find God.

Horrible News In The Morning

That night I was praying I fell asleep on that hill.  When I woke I saddled my horse and rode back home.  When I arrived I saw Jared waiting at my door.  The look on his face wasn’t good.  I knew something was wrong.

“What has happened?” I asked.
“Dinah is missing.” He said.  Dinah is Jacobs only daughter.
“What do you mean she is missing?” I asked.
“Yesterday she went into town to meet some girls and have a good time.  By evening we knew something was wrong.  The boys went into the fields to work and haven’t come back yet.  We need diplomacy Clay.”

Something had gone horribly wrong.  I went with Jared to Jacob’s home.  After we arrived, I was asked to follow the path Dinah took and see what I could discover.  What we didn’t want was Jacob’s sons tearing the city apart.

I had a lot of different worst possible scenarios go through my mind.  I gathered my swords and so did my men.  We mounted our horses and began to ride towards the city.  How little did I know that what took place would be one of the horrible fears in my mind.