Settling in Hebron Jacob began to watch his family grow.  The reach of his wealth and power allowed him to graze his flocks of animals in many places.  Among the more common locations were Dothan and Shechem his boys would bring them to.

Life had once again turned to being a bit more quiet.  Unfortunately for me, I realized that I was becoming an anxious wreck through all I have seen.  While in the turmoil of Jacob leaving Laban and facing Esau, I couldn’t wait for it to be over.  Now it was over I knew this calm would lead to another storm on the horizon.

How little did I realize how unreal and crazy this storm would become.  Jacob’s boys were always causing trouble, this we came to accept.  Yet no one would have believed what came next.

Jacob Loves Joseph More Than His Other Son’s

Jacob couldn’t help himself when it came to Joseph.  It was impossible to hide his love for him.  Joseph was the firstborn son by Rachel, but he was treated as if he was the firstborn of all.  This began to create issues with the other sons.

I remembered the song by Dolly Parton called “Coat Of Many Colors”.  The day I saw Jacob give Joseph a gift, this song came back to mind.  I realized then that Dolly was not the origin of this concept.

When Joseph received his coat of many colors it only further aided this show of favoritism.  What made this coat so special was something the modern world takes for granted. It was indeed woven with different colors, but it had sleeves. Many coats of this time were more like cloaks. Also many were simply a cloth with a hole in the center the head went through then the coat draped around the body.

Adding to this issue of the gift, Joseph began to have dreams and visions from God.  He then would tell his family, or anyone who stood still long enough, the dreams and their meanings.

The problem with his visions was that they always placed Joseph as ruling over his family.  Naturally this did not sit well with the brothers.  I began to notice the rift within them turn to more than just anger.

The brothers looked at Joseph as if he was snobbish, prideful, and full of himself.  In reality that was not the case.  Joseph held no guile and he was not prideful.  Rather he was an explorer, a dreamer, someone who believed in what could be.  Dreamers are often misunderstood.

Day To Day Life Shattered

Jared, Nathan, and I has settled and built homes near Jacob’s home.  Due to the lands Jacob possessed or made use of, it was common for us three to be on the move.  Xiang and Yu hated the farm life as they were more engineers.

Those two could be found on building projects of different kinds whether it be digging wells or barn building. That is what they loved.  When they were not doing this you could find them smelting and forging needed tools.

The scene that we lived within often reminded me of the Old Western days of cowboys.  You would leave home, move animals from place to place, sleep under the stars, and tend to needed chores.  It was a simple life.

Early one morning after breakfast Nathan was cleaning up our fire.  Jared and I were packing the horses preparing for the day’s ride.  Jacob’s other men would continue tending to the sheep as we were about to ride towards Shechem.  It would be Nathan’s voice which would break the calm of the morning.

“Hey Clay!  Rider coming in fast.” Nathan called out.
“I see him.” Grabbing the reins and saddle I mounted and I peeled away from camp.

Jared had mounted just as quickly as me and moved away to the opposite side of camp.  It was a lone rider and we did not know if it was a friend or a threat.  A few moments later we recognized who it was.  Xiang was on his horse and he was riding as fast as that animal could run.

Jared and I gathered back around Nathan.  A few moments later Xiang came storming up to us, his face flustered, breathing heavily, and wide eyed.

“Guys, Joseph is dead.” Xiang said.
“What?” I burst out yelling.
“He’s dead.  The brothers brought back Josephs coat to Jacob, it was covered in blood.” Xiang continued, “Clay, Jacob requests you come.  He wishes to speak with you.”

As Xiang turned to ride away I stood there in shock.  My mind half frozen, I was trying to remember my church days as a young kid.  I did not remember a story about Joseph being dead.  Then again, I did not remember many stories about any of these boys.

“Clay, we must go.” Nathan was screaming trying to snap me out of my daze.
“I can’t believe it.  Something isn’t right.” Jared was in disbelief.
“Rachel passes, now Joseph is dead, you know Jacob will be torn into pieces.” Nathan stated.
“Clay…. Clay, let’s go.” Jared smacked me on the back of my head.

I snapped out of it but, I simply could not believe this.  We rode to find Jacob.

Joseph’s Death Breaks Jacob

We found Jacob a few hundred yards behind his home.  He was on his knees weeping.  Jared and Nathan hung back giving him room allowing me to be the one to approach him.

As I walked closer to him I could see him holding a coat.  It was covered in red, I knew it was blood.  Drawing closer I saw it was Joseph’s coat with its many colors now tainted and torn.  When I reached Jacob I sat down next to him.

In moments like this there really is not anything you can say.  In fact nothing you say can help or make things better.  Knowing that, I just sat there and waited for Jacob to begin talking if he wished to talk.

I am not sure how long I sat there waiting.  I know it was long enough for Jared to start a fire back at Jacob’s home, and the sun had moved towards evening.  This was a long silence, but I would let Jacob be the one to begin.

“Clay, my sons said that Joseph was attacked by a beast and eaten.  This coat is all I have that remains.  I would ask a favor from you.  Please find whatever you can of Joseph and bring him to me.” Jacob requested.

“Absolutely I will.  I am sure Jared and the men will be more than willing to do whatever they can as well.  I will go talk to your boys to learn what I can.” I replied.

The Search For Joseph

Getting up I went back to Jared and Nathan.  I told them of Jacob’s request.  Nathan went to gather Xiang and Yu to help us.  We wanted the gathered experience of our tracking, hunting, and navigation experience on this matter.  The first step was to talk to Jacob’s sons.

The family had gathered in an attempt to comfort Jacob, but he would have none of it.  He didn’t want comfort.  I could see it in his eyes that he would rather die, but he couldn’t die.  The boys story they told was rather simple.

They had been in Dothan with the flocks.  Upon heading back towards home they came across a field between a few hills and Joseph’s coat was laying on the ground.  They said they could see a blood trail and knew it had been a wild animal.

We managed to get a general bearing of where this location should be, and we decided to rest that night.  The search would begin in the morning.  Before sleeping Jared pointed out what was on my mind.

“The story doesn’t sound right.” Jared said.
“It’s plausible though.” Nathan countered.
“Plausible yes.  To only find a coat is my problem with all this.” Jared was thinking over things.
“Really it just depends on what kind of animal it was, we should find something out there though.” I replied.

That night was a restless sleep.  We woke early and prepared our horses and began our ride towards Dothan.  By midday we had covered a lot of ground along the way but had seen no real sign of significant struggle, but we had not arrived at the location as of yet.

In truth, we were concerned about armed highwaymen that were killing and kidnapping. I wanted a memory of what we passed.

We were checking the entire back trail for any large animal movement, migration, or even sign of people. When doing something like this you need the whole picture of the landscape, not just the location the attack took place in.

The trails where tracks existed, it was easy to see those who had passed by.  We kept looking for sign leading off the trails, surrounding hillsides that shepherds would normally use, and watering holes one would access, we found nothing.  This process of searching for Joseph began to take days.  We knew if we found him, it was not going to be good thing to see.

These hills, the places for watering, the roads and trails, had been used for years.  There was no way to distinguish what we saw on the ground knowing who was who.  As time goes by the signs left behind become subtle, small disturbances in the ground or bush.

Caravans would pass through often on their way to Egypt.  Travelers in migration were also frequent.  What we were left with was little other than these expected findings.

After we had reached Dothan we canvassed the area.  Finding several campsites and plenty of ground activity, there still was little to distinguish.  What we couldn’t find was a sign of an attack on Joseph.  To me that was telling.  That night we made camp and it did not take long for us to realize we were all thinking the same thing.

“We searched every drainage ditch, creek, and low laying place we could find, but nothing.” Xiang was the first to point out.
“Yeah, if it was a Lion we would have found something.  They don’t normally carry away their prey.” Yu said.
“Wolves usually don’t carry them far either.  You can find something of the prey and a food cache is buried nearby in the ground.” It was Nathan’s turn.
“Leopards will cache food, but it is always in nearby trees, and we found nothing.” Jared stated.

Meanwhile my mind was going insane trying to remember Bible lessons from childhood.  I just couldn’t remember Joseph.  My mind went from Abraham to Moses.  I have come to realize that there was so much in between I missed.

“What do you think Clay?” Nathan asked.
“I don’t think he is dead.” I said flatly.

My logic on that was based upon my memory in that I knew there were twelve tribes of Israel.  Each tribe I knew was a son of Jacob’s.  This alone was enough for me to believe Joseph was still alive.  Add to this the fact we found no human remains.

“I think you are right.” Jared replied.
“So, what do we tell Jacob?” Nathan asked.
“Well, we cannot find Joseph, so we tell him that.  We certainly cannot produce Joseph and bring him home.  So this is all we have.  I do not want to raise his hopes without something real to show him.” I stated.

Silence fell on our little camp.  Each of us knew the brothers had done something.  The rest of my men were desperately hoping that they did not kill Joseph.  I knew deep down Joseph was still alive.  I just did not know where to begin looking for him.

In the meantime, I would always keep an eye on the horizon for Joseph.  I would always be searching to find him.  He had to be somewhere.  My deepest fear was the caravans.

Slavery was such a common thing in this time.  It literally took nothing more than being in the wrong place at the wrong time to be taken away as a slave.  Once taken and sold your fate was sealed with little hope of returning home.

It stood to reason that the coat the boys found was a result of a struggle between Joseph and slavers.  If he had fallen prey to men rather than to animals, this would explain what we were seeing, or rather not seeing.

The part which made the brothers look guilty was the fact they had so conveniently discovered Joseph’s coat.  Add to this there was no other item of belongings found.  If it had been slavers, I also doubt the coat would have remained on the ground.

The Return To Jacob With Our News

After that last night we mounted our horses and returned home to Jacob.  When I found him he was still deep in mourning.  I went to where he sat and relayed the news to him that we had discovered nothing.

His weeping deepened.  Jacob was shattered.  I wished that there was some way in which I could comfort him, but there would be nothing that could be done.

After this event I noticed a change in Jacob.  It was as if a piece of him had died with Joseph.  I also noticed that after this, Jacob would never let Benjamin out of his sight.

Benjamin was the last remaining son by Rachel.  It was Jacobs last connection to the woman he loved.  He became extremely protective over Benjamin.  A reaction of this nature can be understood.  My fear though was that Jacob would never move past mourning.

It is impossible to truly “get over” the loss of someone you love. Whether this be the loss of a father, mother, brother or sister, but especially a son or a daughter, you do not just get over it.

What you eventually can do is finally start to live life once again in spite of the loss.  It becomes a day by day process where in time things do get easier, but not always better. This is the path that Jacob now found himself on.